A Well-Lit Path: A Blog from Westtown School

When your teenager is grumpy, monosyllabic and irritable, do you find yourself taking it personally, and then, perhaps, even confronting them about it only to find it may have made things worse? Please keep in mind that their grouchiness almost always has nothing to do with you. The answer is to not engage, yet our temptation is to over engage! Here are some tips for staying out of our teenager’s moods and allowing them to get on with the important business of adolescent development:

• Teenagers are often grumpy simply due to the incredible chemical mix of hormones careening through their bloodstream, not to mention rapid changes to their brain composition. They really can’t help it! Just keeping this in mind can stave off the temptation to take it personally.
  

You know the saying, “save the drama for your mama?” Many teenagers do just that. Teens are inclined to vent to their parents, using emotional hyperbole to drive home a point, so we can get a sense of exactly how strongly they are feeling about a subject…in that moment.

Many parents forget the ephemeral nature of the stories, concerns, upsets, and even devastations that their teens share with them. Rather than allowing their teenagers space to vent, they end up getting upset about situations that their child is probably ready to let go of. How can you be an understanding listener without taking on your teenager’s drama?

Here are some ideas to keep your reactions in check: