A Well-Lit Path: A Blog from Westtown School

As parents, we try to protect our children with immunizations, sunscreen, bicycle helmets, seat belts, and good health habits. But what can we do to prevent “summer slide” - academic loss that occurs over the summer-  and instead, foster “summer gain?”

Research shows that leisure reading is the best predictor of comprehension, vocabulary, and reading speed.  Regardless of ethnicity, socioeconomic level, or previous achievement, children who read four or more books over the summer perform better on reading-comprehension tests in the fall than their peers who read one or no books over the summer. Academic losses over the summer months are cumulative, creating a wider gap each year between more proficient and less proficient students.

It seems we are always trying to find a balance between what we want to remain the same and what we want to change. On one hand there are traditions, habits, and rituals and on the other there are research, knowledge and data that  encourages us to modify our habits. I am writing today to talk about climate change and our thinking about changing our habits for the betterment of our world and our children who will inherit the planet.

As parents, we are quick to see the problems in our day-to-day life and even quicker to articulate a solution or how something should be done. And yet, when we point out the problem and the solution all in one breath, we are getting in the way of our children developing the skill of identifying problems. To find solutions, one first has to recognize there is a problem. We want our children to be problem identifiers and problem solvers.

Our teenagers are hardier than we give them credit for. Hardiness, resilience, grit, and tenacity are qualities we know our teenagers need to possess in order to succeed in a competitive world. But often we act in ways that interrupt the growth of these vital characteristics. When we overreact to the curveballs thrown in everyday life, or over invest in the belief that all things should be fair and just, we are short changing our teenagers from learning the tougher lessons necessary to survive and thrive in a demanding society. Protecting our teenagers from realities, consequences, hurt, and injustices may feel instinctive, but is actually counter to building strong character. The problem is we feel their pain in a profound and overwhelming way, so not only are we trying to protect our teenagers, but we also try mightily to protect ourselves from a whole host of co-dependent feelings. The trick is to focus on our own reactions to their discomfort, let go, and have faith that they will handle their uncomfortable feelings on their own. Here are some tips on doing just that:

Stories are powerful tools for communicating the values of a culture and the experiences of others. In this post, I am offering books that explore our differences, similarities, and our common humanity. These books attempt to answer the big questions about human rights, hearts and minds. I have selected titles that celebrate being an individual but also raise up the importance of seeing the light in others. They are powerful stories for a family discussion, but I have also selected them for their literary and/or artistic merit. I hope they will find a place in the heart of your family this winter.

….and take a deep breath. That is my theme for this holiday season, and it was inspired by a conversation with a teacher at my children’s school  about mindfulness. I know mindfulness is a “hot” topic these days, but after talking with my daughter's teacher and participating in an adult mindfulness class, I am now a believer in this practice.

Anticipation of conferences with teachers creates a whole range of feelings for parents:  nervousness, excitement, curiosity, uncertainty. The most successful conferences are based on dialogue – a back and forth of sharing what the teacher and the parent know and hope for the child. You, as the parent, know the child as no one else. You are the advocate, the realist, and the holder of aspirations.  

The teacher knows the child as a learner. How does s/he approach the tasks of learning?  How does the child learn and play within a community of other children? The parent sees the child as one, and the teacher sees the child as a unique one in relation to many other children. When those two perspectives are combined, the strongest partnership between home and school can be built.  

It truly takes a village…and at some point in your little one’s life, school and teachers will become a part of yours. As we approach Labor Day, many of you are preparing to send your child to school for the first time. By now you will have received your child’s class assignment and teacher. There probably have been excited (and exhausting) trips to pick out the required school supplies and a new backpack. As a mom myself, I know what the frenzied days leading up to that first morning can be like, and I want you to be armed with some tools to help you (and your child) survive that first day “outside the bubble.”